Saturday, Jan. 03, 2004 - 6:24 p.m.
New years resolutions
Ok, so here are so things that i would like to do in the comming year. They are not just things i would like to do or acheeve, but changes in my life styal or personality.
- My first one is to loose weight. I need to loose two stong to be with in normal BMI for my hight. I wouldnt mind loosing a bit more than that, but i was only ever than small when i was really ill. I want to make this a change to my life styal rather than just a diet as i intend to keep it all off this time. And if i dont loose the two stone, its not the end of the world as long as im at a size im comfortable with.
- More honesty and assertiveness. This one is going to be hard. But i should do it. I spend months and months biting my lips when so called friends treated me badly and its about time i stopped taking the shit from them. I should also loose touch with people who piss me the fuck off rather than being a super back stabbing bitch and just slagging them off behind there backs. Vikki is a great example, was scared of loosing face in frount of people so joined in like a sheep saying she was lovely .. when all the time i wanted to poke her in the eye. Now i realize im much better off with out the negativity of it all .. and actually, all the people who say they like her? its all bull shit too!
So, more assertivness and honesty with other people any my self.
- Move house and have Fran live with me. I really want to get out of here and im not sure how long its going to be even though i'v been offered a place. But i REALLY want to get out of here this year, its been too long already!! I want to make it nice and have people to stay. I want to be able to use my bathroom and kitchen with out needing help and i want to enjoy living on my own!
- Save money. This is a big one, i dont live on the edge by any means .. i manage to put some money away each week. But in febuary i will be a bit better off as one of my loan repayments finishes so i want to put that money away. Im not saving for anything special, its just that its to easy to fall on hard times and have nothing. Dont get me wrong, i dont have thousends my ANY means, but i like to have at least �500 in savings. Just to make sure i can cover any freak bills that come in. And i want to save for the future now .. may be a morguage :-> This should also include buying less crap, i let my self buy music, but from now on i should avoid 'little' things cos they are the ones that add up!! That includes DVD's, ER box sets, candles, and all the other shit i accumulate!!
- Get back to college. I dont want to make some big statment about getting back to work or going back full time or anything stupid because i will end up disapointed. But i want to get back to do something, even if its only 2 hours a week in the evening like before, its better than nothing and im making some use of what brains i have left! I should find out about BSL too, see if there is an exam this month.
- Health stuff. This year i intend to come to trums with the fact that i am disabled, that people believe me, that its not going away and that nothing will show up on tests. But its ok, my neuro believes its physical and thats all that matters. I just need to get on with things now. This should also include things like drinking more, trying to tell people when im really ill (including Dr's) and doing something about things before they are too late!
- See my friends more. Gemma, Gemma Hayton, Nikki, Matt, Jenny, Gaz, Vikki, Anna .. all of them. I should stop being so scared of going away and spend more time with the people i love the most. This should include *trying* to write and call more too, its just lazyness and forgettfullness .. i should at least try and work on it.
- Not let my periods ruin my life. Every month i treat Fran like shit, and every month i think 'this has got to stop' and it should, and im going to try hard at it. If it means being honest to my GP about what hoes on then i will, i cant keep treating her like this (not now im getting PMT every month!!) This should also include stupid thoughts that people are cheeting on me .. some times my PMT stretches and takes over my brain all month round, i need to take it easy and chill out. If people dont like me or dont want to be with me, they will tell me or leave, i dont need to worry about it.
Ok, i think thats everything for the moment, i might have a think about it all and write some more later. I dont want too much as i wont do it .. but this should make this year a much more possitive one :-)
Happy new year every one .. lets hope we all have a more possitive one :-)
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004