2003-04-08 - 12:48 a.m.
EVERY THING I TOUCH TURNS TO SHIT
Why do i get other people mixed up in my shit? Why do i let my self get attached to people knowing that they are going to get hurt? I am amazing at it .. i manage to hurt people with out even meaning to .. i shouldnt be aloud friends.
Tonight just topped off a fucking bad day, and if i hadnt made a promis to Ali i would be burning my self by now. I wonder if you can bend a promis if the person isnt in the building?
I feel like shit .. so does the other person .. i didnt want to do what i did. I didnt want to say it. I didnt even want to think it, but i cant help it. Its always there, always in the frount of my mind .. eating away at me & telling me that its not going to be a happy ending. I know my self to well .. and its upsetting to know that something i want so badly, im going to fail at. I dont know why i both starting any thing .. it doesnt make sence.
If i stayed away from people then they wouldnt get hurt, no one would .. and neither could i. It would be best all round really.
I have been crying most of the evening .. i expect i will continue to do so. I cant stop shaking .. if im still like this in an hour im going to hospital.
Bye.
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004