Thursday, Jan. 15, 2004 - 10:46 a.m.
Pain
So, yesterday was a lazy day again, iv not been getting dressed much of late cos im really shattered with this pain flair up. Last night it got really bad too .. Fran looked genuinly scard i was so poorly .. i think, in my medical opinion, that i had a cyst on my right ovary that ruptured. The pain was right sided and locolized and resempled very sever IBS .. but i dont think it could have been that because it was so locolized. Any way, thats been the pain i get when i'v had cysts before ... :-/
So that was scary .. and i didnt sleep because of it, and now my arms are killing me .. not helped by the fact that i packed some box's yesterday :-s .. im too honest for my own good. I killed my back though, jesus, i wish i could fell the pain BEFORE i do stuff so that i would know NOT to do it! Spent most of the evening trying to smile through that pain too .. didnt last long mind, painkillers and i was on much more of a high :-)
I have the Dr later today, im going to ask about more painkillers .. im taking so much meptid at the moment and i dont like to. Its not the side effects or anything, i just worry that i'l become used to it. The pain at the moment is much to much for the co-dydromol .. and if it were just one week like this i would be happy to take the meptid as much as i needed .. but seen as its been well over a week .. more like 3 i want to find some thing more in the middle to see if that takes the edge off enough to function?
I think we should go blue when it hurts so people can see how bad it is .. and say, 'ah yes, you need this pain killer' .. or just to proove to the doctors that you do have something wrong with you!!! hummmm ...
Christian called last night, i love him so much!! I joked that i could pay him to come and cook for me in the new house (he is a trained chef turned care assistant .. what more could i ask for!!) and he joked with me for a bit then said, actually Jo, i could do 11 hours a week .. why dont i PA for you? .. im actually quite excited!! As long as i have a female PA for any personal care i need doing .. it sould be ok. I wont need help in the shower any more you see .. so my personal care will only be when im really ill .. and do you know what? I think i would actually trust christian to do it, he is so kind and caring .. he sent me the sweetest message after we hung up .. 'if i had to pick some one i trust, other than my mum, i would pick you' .. AWWW!! How sweet is that!! Bless him :-)
Im going to pop to Cottenham today (twhere the house is) and put up job ad's for the other PA .. im hoping i wont have too many problems finding people. I have to let Debbie and louisa know they are being made redundent like this week so that they finish work in the middle of Feb. Its all so up in the air though because i dont know what date im moving.
Oh, do you know the latest about the OTs? lol .. they called me and i said i needed a ramp before i move in .. and they said 'we dont do that, in fact, i dont know who would? .. we only do apaptions that are long term, anything i say you need will take up to a year to get put in' .. :-O So more phone calls!! Dont get me wrong, i can walk .. and i expect i wont use the chair inside much if at all .. but i dont want to have to fight with steps to get in, if they are slippy or wet .. Fran could do with out it to with her hip problems. So any way, we shall see!!
Im going to Matt's today to get my sister PC sorted out .. then i expect i'l pack some more. I know its really early to be packing, but i want to feel like im doing something, at the moment im so stressed about everything i need to use my restless energy on something .. no matter how it makes me feel after!! Im only backing little stuff, i did all my vids last night .. and just stuff like my candles and fairy lights .. bits i wont need over the next few weeks. I might start to take my photos down, its actually covered almost an etire wall now, so its going to be a rather major operation!!!!
So much for not seeing Fran this week!! lol .. i think the more we say we cant see each other, the more we need to! its been most nights this week :-) ... Im so happy at the moment you know .. i know a lot of people were rather dubious when me and Fran got together .. but i hope you can see that its making me happy :-) I plan to make this work .. i plan to not let any of my MENTAL THOUGHTS disrupt something i want so much. Im making a tape at the moment :-> .. lol .. its not a lovey dovey one .. yet .. lol .. but its going to be hard core good music that i LOVE!
Cal brought me my christmas prezzy yesterday, it was DElta goodrum's inosent eyes .. im listening to it now, and its totally not ofencive to my ears, but its just something idont think i would ever really put on .. if i wanted to listen to music like that i would always put sarah on .. so if any one wants to swop it, or grab a copy while i have it .. can you mail me please? I really want a copy of the Missy Elliot album actually .. if any one could help me with that plea!!
Ok, im off to put some clothes on!! and change the CD to MUSE .. who are totally rocking my world baby!!!!!!
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I have just got back from the GP, my blood pressure was something like 198 over 94 so i have to go back in a week for another check up. They have got me on 200mg tramadol and 500mg meptid. I'v had tramadol before but i thought it made my mouth swell .. so i have to weight for Louisa to get here before i can take it. Im sure i was just panicing, i always do that, done it with meptid before now .. i just have to be strict with my self and say stop being stupid!! I could really do with the pills, so i pray im not alregic to it!! lol .. ok, bye x x x
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004