Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2003 - 12:19 p.m.
I will sleep .. and never wake
I am so sleepy! I'v not been this sleepy in ages .. im waking up more sleepy than when i went to bed, with a marked worsoning every bloody day. It only lasts a couple of hours and then i can push my self to be my normal ability .. but its a lil annoying cos im falling a lot at night and first thing in the morning. My hair is falling out again, i'v started to get a really thin patch right in the center of my head. I wondered if it was anxousness, but i guess it could be a relapse? Pain has started to wrosen, but thats cool .. im getting a lot of refered pain down my right leg at the mo too .. but thats just my nerves playing up.
Arms have been a lil more setteled, its really bad at night, ok when i wake up, okish during the day worsening at night. But my splints are anoying me so i kinda gave up wearing them .. its made a diffrence and i cant really cope in the evenings with out them .. but i dont want to wear them during the day any more.
I'v been quite low lately, i think its just cos im so anxoius. I'm waking up having a panic attack every morning, i dont know why .. some times im so paniced im in sleep para untill my PA comes. Im hoping it will die down now i'v finished my hospital appointments. Although i have my biggest one on the 10th of Oct. I have to call the london hospital and ask them to make sure they send a report to my Neuro before that date and see what she says about my results.
I have worked out that i wont get my ar untill Tuesday earlest. Basicly when your a spastic you get free tax, but you cant get it at the post office .. i have to send off for it. So i have to send the log book of the new car, my new insurance details and my DLA404 thingy off. But i cant send the log book cos toyota has it, so i have to take the 404 in today. I'v alled my insurance company and they are going to send both me and toyota a copy of the cover note so they can send that straight off too.
Only problem is, i had never told my insurance company or the DVLA that i was a crip and because its a lot of money i thought i should tell them or i wouldnt be able to claim if anything happened. So now they want letters and forms filled in and all sorts. My insurance people went MAD that i'd not told them before, they need me to write a letter telling them why i'd not told them before. I dont know what they will do with the letter though .. or if im in trouble!! The DVLA people are sending me out a form to fill in about everything as they might need to put some restrictions of my drivers licance. I just PRAY it all goes to plan or i'l never get the bloomin car! STRESS!
So, christmas, i have no idea how im going to afford ANYTHING! im going to start making cards i think, and writing lists .. working out who's getting what. Please dont be affended if you dont get a prezzy though, im not sure any one will! I need so find some stuff for friends who i want to get a lil something for but nothing big, you know, a couple of pounds or somthing. Im a lil stumped though .. last year i did photo frames, but i cant do the same again as i dont have the time/energy with everything else to do it. SO if ou have any ideas! please let me know!
Things with Ali are in a big of a mess, but i wont bore you with that!
Im off to eat a bowl of carrots .. bye bye x x x x
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004