Monday, Jun. 30, 2003 - 11:24 p.m.
Not a happy bunny
Im royaly pissed off now! I'd had a good day .. pain was better than its been for the last few days, and although i'v been very spacy i'v been happy .. now im all GRRRR!!
I got off the net to call Matty baby who is having women problems .. i was there 2 and a half hours and forgot to go to the loo .. when i got up, i had been .. in my bed :'( .. now dont get me wrong, this isnt anything out of the ordenary, its just that normaly i wake up in the morning in a puddle of piss, and not before i'v even gone to bed! ... see this brings problems, because now i have to change the bed, this inturn raises its own problems because then im in agony for house, this causing even less sencation in my bladder thus pissing the bed again.
I hate this, this has to be the worst thing. I always wear pads, during the day normaly, i try not to wear them at night cos i get too many bladder infections and that makes things worse. Every one has one thing they find it hard to cope with, it might be pain, or brainfog, or the clumsieness .. but for me this is it.
Its horrible, you smell, you have pag's up to your arm pits on, you have to be always thinging 'when did i last go to the loo?' or 'where is the nearest toliet in case i have to run?' or 'shit, am i wet?' or worst of all 'can people see im wet?'.
Then there are the physical implications, urine burn, urin infections & kidney reflux. Then there are the social implications. Do friends really want to share a bed with me? Do people really want to go out with me if im wet with in ten mins and need to change?
I cover it up well these days, no one knows when im wet and unset (see what i did there ;o) ..) .. i dont want them to. No one else should have to deal with it. Its not nice for people who want to get close either :o(
I just want it to go away. Blah.
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004