2002-11-20 - 11:40 a.m.
Grrr .. i am in such a foul mood .. i mean REALLY bad!
I was up last night, couldnt sleep, till about 6:30 .. kinda normal for me so didnt worry.
Get worken up at 9:30 by my phone ringing (i keep in on my bed in case i need anything during evening/night and so on)
It was my social worker.
before i go off on one .. the story so far .....
Mum is moving. I need a place to live. I applyed to council, they siad im too ill to house. Bridgets accept me (a hostel for disabled students) Its perfect, 24 hour care, and so on. I sell my car. I buy an electric wheel chair thinking i can use the money from the sale of the car. Perfect i hear you all say? ... i wouldnt be so bloomin luck.
Bridgets put together an amazing care plan of 35 hours care .. a lot granted, so i was ok when the social worker said she said they might have to cut it down to about 25.
Now, bridgets have carers 24/7 but you have to pay for how ever many hours a day you think you will need. And Jenny (manager at B) desided dew to my falling or blacking out and the unpredictability of my illness i would need 2 hours a day.
My social worker thought that was too much so i was happy for it to be cut down to 1 hour.
So when SW left i was happy with the thought she was going to fight my corner for a 30 hour care plan for 3 weeks to see how i do then a review and cut down the hours a bit. Also in my defence, this amout of care would only be for 30 weeks of the year, and for the rest of the time i wouldnt need any (staying with Fran) ... so the cost of care wouldnt be that much.
When the phone rang this morning and Louise (SW) said 'its not good news' i thought she was just going to say they wont let me have 30 hours at all i will have to go in straight at 20. But its worse!!
They have desided that if i have supervition care now i will always need it and become dependent on the level of care im given there. They are refusing to pay for the supervition care at all .. and Jenny (manager at b) is refusing to let me in with out supervition.
Lousie called Betty yattes (my housing officer) .. who refused to house me because she said i was to ill to live on m own ... and is now looking for some where else.
Surly if she couldnt come up with some where in months she isnt going to manage in a week?
Betty is saying there are now no hostel rooms (there was one about 7 miles out before) so im going to have to go in to a B&B
I have brought an electric wheel chair that im now unlikaly to be able to use. And an add in auto trader to sell my car!!
I just dont know what on earth im going to do or how im going to cope
My health is getting worse, head aches are worse and my pain is flaring up. Im not sleeping and im so stressed i just dont know what to do with my self
I cant stay with my mum as she is just stopping with a friend, and she would be so busy working she wouldnt be able to look after me.
Having said that, im scared to tell her becasue she is so stressed about everything i think this would tip her over the edge.
I cant stay with my dad cos if i get brave and go in the shower with out some one and fall ... i wouldnt want him to get me out .. and we dont get on, he doesnt understand my illness.
So now i have 40 letters printed out to you all with my bridgets address in that i cant use .. and no where to go.
The movers come in on the 28th so its not like i'v even got a chance to look privetly
Im just in a really bad mood ... sorry
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004