2002-01-16 - 4:27 p.m.
Dont know what to say really. Cant say what i really want to cos i will get in trouble, so i'l work round that!
To be honest i feel like shit. Just keeps getting worse, keep getting letters from the DSS about my benefist and my bank about having no money then bills to spend my none excitante money on. Just never ending!
I feel so trapped, i just dont want to do anything or talk to any one, theres no reason for it you know, just feel like shit. But i dont want to tell any one cos then that will just prove to them that my ME is caused by depretion. I dont want that, and i dont want to be depressed again, its scary.
I feel dumped actually, i just feel so alone. I know there are people i can talk to, but even in a room full of so called friends a feel on my own.
I dont like feeling like this, i love my friends, they mean so much to me. But no one seems to know why i feel like this. Every one says, ;oh you can talk to me' but i dont make any sence, i have no reason for feeling like this, im just being selfish.
Mum is doing my nut, i just cant cope. If i was any better i would go away, lol, but then there is the issue of money again! I would only make it to tescos!
Dont know what im going to do about work/college and benefits, i just cant seem to think striaght about it all. Few days ago i would have felt posotive about it, but now i just want to stick my fingers up at them and ask them to pay my over draft off!
Ok, im going to stop before i either get my self it to trouble or start crying so uncontrolably i write all te stuff i shouldnt!
Bye
Jo
send me luuuuvvv - Sunday, May. 02, 2004
newly free! - Monday, Mar. 22, 2004
its not goodbye - Friday, Mar. 12, 2004
burp - Sunday, Mar. 07, 2004
filling in :-) - Thursday, Mar. 04, 2004